I Love Jury Duty
September 5 / 3PM
OK, perhaps love is a bit much. But being forced to sit in a confined space with complete strangers for hours on end has afforded me some much needed time to clear my head and read the latest copy of Motor Trend cover to cover in one sitting (versus the usual "article at a time then dog ear the last page I was on until my next bathroom break" manner of consumption my work-a-day life has inflicted upon me).
It’s only 2pm and so far I’ve already: been sworn in as a juror; sat in a real courtroom with a real judge (a la Law & Order) and a real juror movie on a real television; read all seventy edge-of-my-seat pages of our new rental lease; read the afore-mentioned Motor Trend (and holy s**t: Audi’s shoe-horning half a Lamborghini engine into a TT sometime in the next 2-3 years by the way!); eaten a gyro (it’s pronounced hee-ro by the way – don’t piss of the Greek guys behind the counter) at The Arcade on Westminster which I haven’t done in years; and walked both sides of South Main St. around the courthouse and seen all of the cool shops and cafes that I never noticed before in my five plus years living in Providence. Oh and I got to write this blog post.
Last and certainly least - Uncle Government’s cutting me a $15.00/day check at the end of all this? That’s two whole zeros after the decimal point! That’s, like, way more than I’d be making at work right now. Like infinity-times more. They even let me pay for the shitty coffee in the “café” downstairs! And in the not-at-all-ironic category, they bussed us to the courthouse this morning in a decommissioned prison bus. Thanks, Rhode Island! [insert thumbs-up and smiling face with glistening tooth here]
Two hours and fifteen minutes to go ...
Maybe I’ll count the wood panels. Or the number of clicks the World War II-era air conditioner can make each minute. Or the number of times that guy’s gotten up to use the bathroom since we’ve been here. Or …
What Now?
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Comments
Melissa | September 6, 2006 08:28 AM
DAMN, it's not fair- RI has wayyyy cooler jury duty than MA does. Last time I went to jury duty, all I got was to go to Taunton, get my car keyed, sit in a room with "Joe the smelly guy" who liked to touch people when he talked and was sent home after a dixie cup of water and 5 hrs. Damn I wish I had jury duty again!web | September 7, 2006 10:18 AM
You could always hop the rail and try to stab the defendant with a Nerf knife -- I hear thats always a hoot in court.Mike | September 9, 2006 01:42 PM
Actually when the judge asked if I had any preconceived notions about the trial, I stood up in the jury box, pulled down my pants and started shouting "GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!". Somehow or another I still got selected to serve. Hm.